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I Just Am.
I'm the best kind of crazy.
I'm a perpetual starter. I'm the kind of innately off-balance human being that has too many ideas for one head, so I stop one project mid-way through to start another before it falls out of my brain for good.
I'm the kind of neurotic that isn't clean -my husband can attest. But I know my mess like an accountant knows their financial spreadsheets. The kind of crazy that deems the floor as a giant shelf just waiting to be filled with treasures, and knows how much the bottom of my purse loves to cozy up to loose change and wrappers.
I'm the kind of kooky that cradled 2 liter bottles of Coca-Cola like babies in the grocery store. Carrying on a 45 minute conversation with and nurturing a plastic bottle somehow kept me from crawling on the floor like the today's shoeless and unclean "Wal-mart children" and fostered a creative spirit in me.
A spirit that makes sense one day and leaves me questioning my place in the world the next. A spirit that makes me feel as light and carefree as an ethereal gauze dress blowing in the wind. Then like a manic sans medication, makes me feel like I'm wearing flip flops in a foot of snow- frost-bitten by ideas I find ingenious and others find insidious.
Throughout the years, I can't say,in all honesty, that I have become completely comfortable in the colorful skin I wear, often feeling a little too round for such a square world. But, I can say that I have found that even though I don't seem to "fit" in too many places, it is becoming ever more present that finding people and places that can appreciate the ways in which I don't "fit" is just as satisfying.
I am delighted to not be just another safe Little Black Dress for any occasion. I am a complexly constructed couture dress, that hangs on the body in a way that doesn't make any sense, but somehow it doesn't have to.
I just am.
[Debut Fashion Show 2010 dress by Caitlin Cortez]
I found this in an old journal and find it inspiring.
"I'm going to stand out,
just so I won't struggle with fitting in.
I'm going to paint the world,
just so I don't have to see in black and white anymore.
I'm going to live a life that's never been lived,
just so I'll learn to be happy.
I'm going to love another with my entire soul,
just so I can say I've lived.
I'm going to be everything I've ever wanted to be,
just so I can prove you wrong,
just so the ones that didn't believe in me, will."
-anonymous
I'm a perpetual starter. I'm the kind of innately off-balance human being that has too many ideas for one head, so I stop one project mid-way through to start another before it falls out of my brain for good.
I'm the kind of neurotic that isn't clean -my husband can attest. But I know my mess like an accountant knows their financial spreadsheets. The kind of crazy that deems the floor as a giant shelf just waiting to be filled with treasures, and knows how much the bottom of my purse loves to cozy up to loose change and wrappers.
I'm the kind of kooky that cradled 2 liter bottles of Coca-Cola like babies in the grocery store. Carrying on a 45 minute conversation with and nurturing a plastic bottle somehow kept me from crawling on the floor like the today's shoeless and unclean "Wal-mart children" and fostered a creative spirit in me.
A spirit that makes sense one day and leaves me questioning my place in the world the next. A spirit that makes me feel as light and carefree as an ethereal gauze dress blowing in the wind. Then like a manic sans medication, makes me feel like I'm wearing flip flops in a foot of snow- frost-bitten by ideas I find ingenious and others find insidious.
Throughout the years, I can't say,in all honesty, that I have become completely comfortable in the colorful skin I wear, often feeling a little too round for such a square world. But, I can say that I have found that even though I don't seem to "fit" in too many places, it is becoming ever more present that finding people and places that can appreciate the ways in which I don't "fit" is just as satisfying.
I am delighted to not be just another safe Little Black Dress for any occasion. I am a complexly constructed couture dress, that hangs on the body in a way that doesn't make any sense, but somehow it doesn't have to.
I just am.
[Debut Fashion Show 2010 dress by Caitlin Cortez]
I found this in an old journal and find it inspiring.
"I'm going to stand out,
just so I won't struggle with fitting in.
I'm going to paint the world,
just so I don't have to see in black and white anymore.
I'm going to live a life that's never been lived,
just so I'll learn to be happy.
I'm going to love another with my entire soul,
just so I can say I've lived.
I'm going to be everything I've ever wanted to be,
just so I can prove you wrong,
just so the ones that didn't believe in me, will."
-anonymous
